An Apology

Dear Colon, I am writing with an advanced apology over what I am about to put you through. See, I promised myself I was gonna try to do an endurance ride in 2 months from today. How do you factor into that you ask? Well in an effort to make myself a bit less like a Blue Whale on my precious Arabian mare I thought I would get back to eating healthy. And taking supplements. Supplements that clean out and detox you, my colon, dear friend. This will only require an inconvenience on your part for 7 days. I plead with you to please be patient and have mercy on me. I ask that you take great care to not punish me for all that I have forced upon you in the way of chili, salsa, extra jalapenos on my nachos and the like. I will be better to you in the future, I promise. Please, be nice. Please.

My farrier not so gently reminded me today that my ride was in 2 months! How in the hell did that happen?? I am so very not ready. I have eaten salads and fruits and vegetables and gained 2 pounds. This ride is going to kill me. At the grocery today I noticed an innocent little display of "Slimquick weight loss jump start kits". Hmm. sounds reasonable enough. Especially if you are your cell phone and not really paying attention to what you are buying. That part is always more fun to do when you get home. Well, evidently my "kit" wants me to detox my colon before I take the weight loss supplement. Ooh this should be fun. I have never detoxed any part of my being before. It sounds a bit ominous.

With all that said, I ate my turkey and avocado sandwich and swallowed 4 non-descript capsules that are currently on their way to rid my body off all the ills I have put it through. Dear God, I hope I bought enough toilet paper.

Shaqerriae, this is all for you baby. Never let it be said momma doesn't love you!