Glory Days

I miss this. I miss the conditioning rides that made me so sore I walked funny the next day. I miss getting in shape so that I didn't hurt the next day. I miss the miles, the trails, the conversation, the rush, the sync with my horse. I miss the much anticipated shower and crashing in bed only to awake to my husband bringing me coffee in bed the next day because I was spent from riding my horse and getting a completion. I miss hoping for my first 50.

It seems that life altered my wanna be endurance career starting with my soulmate horse getting injured days before a ride. A long rehab lay ahead. Things just progressed. I had hoped to do BlueBonnet in a few days but I can't. I can't because I am fat. I can't because my back hurts. I can't because I freeze every time I am on my horse and a leaf rustles. I can't because I am terrified to ride. Yet still I want to do just that. I want to ride and sweat and be at one with my horse as she hits her big trot and eats the trail up, working for me and me alone. Our bodies and minds one.

I am trying to get back there. I rode Shaqerriae yesterday for an hour and a half. A bit in a field and mostly in the arena. I trotted and trotted and today I am sore. I am sure she is too. My doctor put me on some medication that is allowing me to be a bit more physically active. I am trying to find my way back to endurance riding. Or if that is not to be, then at least riding.

The photo above was taken at the last year of Frigid Digit. The horse I am atop is LL Cruzin Altitude. I was riding him for Di. Well, no I wasn't. To say that I rode "Stilts" would be a lie. I hung on, gritted my teeth, closed my eyes and prayed that I would still be with him as we crossed the finish line. Stilts did not require a rider when it came to endurance. A rider was merely a passenger that was not to interfere with his game plan. That game plan was to go 90mph over and through whoever and whatever was in his way. I don't think I was ever happier to get off of a horse's back than I was Stilts' the day of this ride. I also don't think I miss past horses quite as bad as I do Stilts. Di sold him not long after this ride. My husband offered to buy him for me but I knew he was too much horse for me. I regret letting him slip through my fingers.